


caught in the storm

by MaddieandChimney



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [8]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Injury, mentions of gun shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 10:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30003387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: Standing in between you and anyone who thinks they can hurt you is exactly where I wanna be standing.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Taylor Kelly, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1937749
Comments: 14
Kudos: 35





	caught in the storm

There’s so much blood. 

It’s all Maddie can see, feel and think about as she stares down at her trembling hands. She can’t breathe, she’s covered in blood and it’s not her own, though she wishes it was right then. It hurts just as much as she supposes it would have if the bullet had ripped through her instead. Her heart aches, a burning sensation rushing through her as she tries to take a breath. 

She rubs her hand against her jeans in an attempt to rid herself of the red stains. Flashes of pressing her hands against his stomach forces a lump into her throat, stopping the scream that so longs to fall. Their friends and family are all around them, she can’t look any of them in the eyes. It’s her fault; first Chimney being stabbed and now her little brother being shot. It’s her fault, damaging the people who love her the most. A miracle was what they needed right then but she’s so sure that she’s out of miracles by now.

“Maddie?”

She doesn’t look up, eyes fixated on her red palms before she turns her hands around to stare at the stains on her knuckles instead. She feels sick, she’s felt that way from the moment the gun had been pointed at her and then… suddenly, she was on the ground and then Evan dropped. 

“Maddie?” 

Her brother is looking at her, tears in bright blue eyes and a shadow of a smile on his lips.  _ Standing in between you and anyone who thinks they can hurt you is exactly where I wanna be standing. _ He reaches for her and she crawls towards him, so fixated on his eyes that she barely notices the blood for just a second until she clamps her hands down on his stomach and promises him that he’s going to be okay. There’s so much blood and his face is getting paler by the second and she can’t do this again. She can’t lose another brother and she especially can’t lose Evan. 

“Please look at me.” 

Her little finger hooks through his when they are in the back of the ambulance, feeling his limp grip against her own.  _ I promise.  _ She can see the desperation in his eyes, just how much he wants to live because finally,  _ finally _ , he has everything he had ever wanted and so much more. People he loves, a job he adores, a woman that finally treats him the way he deserves… a woman who is carrying his child. He had everything and now… 

“Say something, please.” 

Chimney’s voice is full of panic but she’s not in the waiting room with him right then, she’s sitting in the back of the ambulance watching as her brother closes his eyes and suddenly, his heart stops beating and  _ she _ can’t breathe. Buck’s heart stops beating and it feels as though hers does too. She doesn’t take a breath again until he does. 

It doesn’t feel as though she’s back in the room with some of the people who love her brother the most, until her husband’s hands are on top of hers, fingers running over her wedding ring. She can still feel the warmth of Buck’s blood against her skin, she can still hear his struggling breaths and watch as his mouth opens trying to say something to her. He never did get the words out and then he was wheeled away from her the moment they got to the hospital and then… rushed off to surgery. Internal bleeding. His heart had stopped again. Her brother had died  _ again _ and it feels as though her world is ending. 

She pulls her hands from Chimney’s, if her brother is dead, it’s all her fault, she doesn’t deserve the gentle touch of his hands or his softly spoken voice. The gun had been aimed at her and he’d so quickly, without a thought for himself, pushed her out of the way. It should have been her. Maddie doesn’t know how to be an older sister without any brothers, she doesn’t know how to be  _ Maddie _ without both of them. She remembers being eight and rubbing Daniel’s back as he threw up, she remembers being fourteen and tending to Buck’s wounds again and again. 

And now here he was, another Buckley, another time in hospital, another moment he might not make it through. She can’t breathe without her brother, he’s a piece of her, the person who saved her and gave her the chance to have the amazing life she does right now… or did. If he dies, she’ll never be okay again. It’ll break her. If Buck dies, he may as well take her with him, especially when it should have been her. She was the big sister, she was meant to protect him. She was the big sister and if she outlives  _ both _ her brothers… 

“It’s gonna be okay.” 

“You don’t know that.” It’s the first thing she’s said since stepping off the ambulance and watching as her brother was wheeled from her. The tears finally fall the moment she looks into the eyes of the man who loves her so much. “You didn’t see him, you didn’t see how much blood there was and it wouldn’t stop and then his heart stopped and he never opened his eyes again. So you can’t say it’s going to be okay because you don’t know. You don’t… nobody…” She can’t breathe, there’s a crushing pressure on her chest and it’s manifesting from the soft touch of her husband, enough that she yanks her hands from him and moves instead to stand up. 

“My brother could be dead, that’s not okay. That won’t ever be okay and I’m fed up of seeing the people I love in hospital rooms, I-I can’t… I can’t do this again. I can’t lose him, I can’t… I can’t live without him. I don’t  _ want  _ to do this without my brother because I’ve already had to say goodbye to one, I’m not saying goodbye to another. I can’t do this. I can’t…” He steps towards her and she steps back, shaking her head as she angrily wipes at the tears, staring down at her hands once more at the smudged blood that marrs her skin. She wonders if she’ll ever forget, if she’ll ever be able to unsee everything she had that night. 

He holds his hands up, “I know, I’m sorry, it was a bad choice of words. I’m so sorry. But Buck is strong, Maddie and he’s been through so much, he can…” He only trails off when she shakes her head, moving until her back hits the nearest wall and there’s a burning sensation in her chest. She wants to scream, she wants to hit something, she wants to feel something other than the horrific pain she’s in right then. 

“Just shut up, y-you’re making it worse, you’re not helping. Just shut up!” 

Maddie loves her husband, she truly does but right then, for just a moment, she hates him. She wants him to stop, she wants everything to stop and even if she can’t breathe for the rest of her life, she knows she has to carry on. She has to keep going even if she doesn’t want to because she has a husband who loves her, she has two little girls who need their mommy and she has a nephew due to make his appearance into the world in just ten weeks.

Chimney is slow to nod his head, taking a cautious step towards her before her eyes glance down at her stomach, staring at the blood stained clothing. A stranger had shot her brother tonight, for no reason other than he wanted Maddie’s car and she should have given him the keys straight away. She should have been the one to push her brother out of the way, she should have known that Buck would do anything he possibly could to protect her. 

“I’m so sorry. I know you’re scared right now… I-I know that… I know…” His eyes dart across the room and she looks over to where he’s looking, staring at Taylor as she gently rubs her pregnant stomach, a distant look on her face as she does. It’s not just her that will be destroyed by this, Taylor will have to be a single mom and she’ll be bringing up a boy who will never know his dad. Maybe a little blue eyed, blonde haired boy and Taylor will be in the same position as their parents had been - looking into the face of a little boy who reminds her so much of what she’s lost. Maddie doesn’t think she can do it again; losing Daniel and seeing him so much in Buck’s face as he’d grown up and then… losing Buck and watching his son grow up looking just like him. 

Her knees feel weak, her chest is tight, it feels as though the world is closing in on her when she looks at her husband. “I-I can’t br-breathe w-without him… I can’t… I can’t do this, I-I can’t…” It’s as though he knows before she does, catching her before she falls as each word is filled with a gasping breath. Chimney’s arms usually make her feel safe and loved but she doesn’t feel anything other than the undeniable pain that rips through her when she hits the ground. 

“I love you, I’ve got you, I’ve got you, Maddie.” 

It usually feels enough but right then, all she wants is her little brother to live to see another day, to see his son being born, to be happy. It should have been her. It’s not fair. She wishes it were her, anything other than her little brother’s life hanging in his balance right then. It should have been her.


End file.
